My One New Year’s Intention: Six Months, No Shopping

I don’t like the way I left 2017.

I fell asleep at 9:30, wracked with feelings of guilt over all the things I didn’t do, all the promises I didn’t deliver on, all the opportunities I missed. It was a champagne-induced guilt, the kind that’s hard to crawl out of because you’re half-dreaming and your brain is already impaired, and you’re already hating yourself for the hangover you know you’re in for in about six hours.

So I felt guilty that I drank too much. I felt guilty about my haphazard career path – that I left my job of four years, practically on a whim, to return to teaching. I felt guilty that I wasn’t able to immediately provide my students with an inclusive, inspiring learning environment. I felt guilty that I didn’t devote more time to this blog after merging with Let’s Be Fair, or deliver on the promise of more frequent, useful content. I felt guilty that I never sent thank you cards for all of Avery’s presents.

I felt guilty about feeling guilty.

And I woke up New Year's morning so angry at all of that guilt. At all of the unreasonable expectations I put on myself, and all of the (mostly perceived) expectations of others. And while I could resolve to be kinder to myself, to make more time for self-care, to say “no” more... the last thing I want to do is set more expectations that I’ll eventually feel guilty about not living up to (I mean, who wants to fail at self-care?).

So screw a list of resolutions this year.

Rather, I’m setting one simple, achievable intention – one that requires doing less, not more. I simply won't shop for six months.  

The timing is right, so why not?

I’ve been wanting to try a shopping “fast” for a long time, but have always found excuses not to. Some of them were legit (like being pregnant), and some were superfluous (a trip that required a new pair of sandals, or a wedding that simply necessitated a breezy wrap dress).

But at a year postpartum, I finally fit into my "normal" size again, and have full access to my prior wardrobe. Note: I'm air-quoting here because everyone's "normal" is different and subject to change. I wasn't sure I would ever return to my pre-pregnancy weight, and I was okay with that. Some women don't, and it's not because they didn't exercise enough or eat right or practice enough mindfulness. I didn't do any of those things, to be honest. That's just the way my body responded.

Anyway, taking a break from my closet gave me some much-needed perspective, and has filled me with a new appreciation for the things I already have. Thanks to some coaching from Anuschka Rees and Colette Patterns' Wardrobe Architect project, I put some major thought into my wardrobe over the past few years. I invested in several staple pieces, and honed my personal style (you can see some of that work here, here, and here). Getting dressed in the morning is so much easier these days, and I feel confident and comfortable in the clothes I have.

That said, I still do have a tendency to shop my feelings. After a hard day at work or a long night caring for a sick baby, all I want to do is something mindless – and browsing pretty things online, at the mall, or even my local Salvation Army fits that bill. In a way it does feel like a form of self-care, but not the kind that I want to cultivate. So for this and a few other reasons, I’m cutting myself off. Here’s the deal:

Parameters

• No new clothing or accessories for six months
• Repair, borrow, or trade for anything new
• Exceptions: bras/ underwear if needed or the replacement of any essential items that may get irreparably damaged (shoes, etc.)

Intended outcomes

• Save some $$$
• Learn how to better care for and repair my clothes
• Find new creative ways to style the clothes I have
• Find better ways to deal with stress/ boredom

I’m hoping to include lots of outfit posts and clothing maintenance tips along the way, so stay tuned. And if you’re on a similar journey, let me know! I’d love to hear about your experiences.

Happy new year, friends, and here’s to a more mindful and creative 2018!

Wardrobe Architect 2015: Planning My Spring/ Summer Capsule Wardrobe

During the first round of the Wardrobe Architect series, I did a lot of work defining my core style, favorite shapes, silhouettes, color palette, and print preferences, culminating in aSpring/ Summer capsule wardrobe plan. Then summer happened, and I never actually got around to sewing anything. All of that thinking did help me make smarter shopping choices, though, and I ended up investing in a few versatile pieces that I wore all summer long.

This year, I created an expanded Spring/ Summer capsule plan that includes several pieces from my current wardrobe. I plan to fill in the gaps with some handmade separates, dresses, and maybe even a Rigel bomber if I'm feeling ambitious. As for the pieces I know I can't make (e.g., the leather jacket and skinny jeans), I plan to hit up my favorite ethical brands like Amour Vert, Everlane, and Adriano Goldschmied. So here it is: the full Spring/ Summer vision above and the detailed plan below, including pattern choices from Colette, Grainline, Papercut, By Hand London, and Simplicity. If some of the "Have" pieces look familiar, it's because they're actual photos of my clothes... which I photographed on a dress form and painstakingly isolated in Photoshop. In other words, I had a rockin' Saturday night.

From top left: Chambray Button-up Shirt, Madewell Denim Jacket, Papercut Rigel Bomber, Everlane Seed Stitch Raglan, Theory Lace Sweatshirt, Veda Leather Jacket, Amour Vert Breton Top, Grainline Tiny Pocket Tank, Simplicity Vintage Halter, Jean Short Cutoffs, Cream Skinny Jeans, Grainline Maritime Shorts, BCBG Sundress, Amanda Uprichard Sundress, By Hand London Georgia Dress, Colette Mabel Skirt, Blue Paisley Skirt, Colette Zinnia Skirt

Architecting My Wardrobe, My Blog, My Sanity

Here's the thing, I began 2015 with a promise to myself: I will commit to doing less. It's not that I don't love having hobbies (oh darling, I do), but between the new job, commuting three hours a day, starting Crossfit, a slew of extracurriculars, and some minor health issues... well, 2014 wore me the heck out.

I didn't realize how bad it was until I visited my mother after several months apart. She gave me that mom stare and said, "Honey, you look exhausted."

I wanted to reply, No Mom, I just turned 32 when you weren't looking. I have wrinkles now, and a tendency to get crippling hangovers after one strong cocktail. But I knew what she meant. The telltale sign of emotional exhaustion isn't dark circles or bloodshot eyes; it's the inability to fully experience life's moments of joy. And that's something a mother can spot a mile away.

Anyway, that's my roundabout way of saying that I'll be taking a hybrid approach to this year's Wardrobe Architect challenge. I do plan to sew, but I don't think I can commit to creating an entire capsule wardrobe from scratch. Which is fine; as Kristen pointed out in her post today, people around the world are taking part in this for a variety of reasons: refining their wardrobes, quitting fast fashion, becoming more mindful consumers, and so on. These are the same reasons I started this blog in the first place, so I think we're all on the same page.

What I can commit to – and what I'm quite excited about – is sharing the progress that I made during last year's Wardrobe Architect series, with a few updates and lessons learned. My goal has always been to create a thoughtful wardrobe from a mix of ready-to-wear clothing and a few handmade pieces, and this year's challenge offers a perfect opportunity to synthesize what I've learned as a beginning seamstress and an ethical consumer-in-progress.

I've also been been doing a lot of behind the scenes work to make this blog more useful for other ethically-minded shoppers. Soon, I'll be rolling out a brand spankin' new format, complete with an interactive, categorized ethical shopping guide. My hope is that these resources will help those of you who also plan to take a hybrid approach to the WA series plan, purchase, and maintain a sustainable wardrobe. Here's a sneak peak of what's to come:

An ethical shopping guide, searchable by attribute, and each with its own page detailing the company's philosophy...

This is still going to take forever to finish building out.

But then... I swear... fewer projects :)